Addison turns 3

I am a little sad. Addison turned 3 years old yesterday. She is my last one and is growing out of the baby stage. Who am I kidding, she came out grown. This little person thinks she is a big kid. I guess since she has 3 older siblings that is to be expected.

The morning she was born, I remember the dr. placing her on my stomach and it was love at first site. Corny I know but oh so true. I told Todd that she didn't look like the other kiddos. YES, she looks like ME. I was so excited that one of them resembled me. I mean, come on, I do all the work and Dad gets all the glory.

Addison is such a character. Nicknamed Queen A (as in queen b) she tries to run the show...ok she does a lot of the time. One of her most used phrases is " you're not the boss...I the boss." I hear this often when she is playing with the twinkies. It doesn't help that they normally give into her. She is just too darn cute not to when she bats her eyes and looks all innocent. We are in trouble!!

We are blessed with the last addition to our family. She continuously makes us laugh and gives awesome BIG hugs. Happy Birthday Addison!! We love you!!

On Facebook of all places

Before I got out of bed this morning I had my quiet time. I have struggled with forgiving for about a year now. I just can't seem to let this go with this person. My head knows that I am to forgive as God does but my heart is bitter toward this person and what was done to me. So that was at the top of my prayer time. I desperately want to let this go because it is hindering my relationship with my Lord. I can't grow in my faith if this isn't resolved. Some times I feel consumed by it. I don't want to feel this way any more.

I asked God to give me a verse for what is going on with my forgiving. What is His take on all of this mess. I got up from bed and went on with my day not thinking that He would get back to me right then. You know that it could take some time when God is working on us.*grin*

Around noon I got on Facebook to check on everyone and my messages. As I am scanning over posts my eyes catch a phrase. "Has anyone hurt you???" Now usually I skip over that stuff but it was from a Christian site so I bit and went to the page. OMgoodness, as I read I knew that God had given me my verse. ON FACEBOOK OF ALL PLACES!!

"There is only one law giver and judge, the One who is able to save and destroy." James 4:12

Now the scenario of how that person was hurt was completely different than mine but the feelings were the same. As a christian, I know I am to forgive but my heart is not wanting to because of my hurt. It is not my place to judge this person or their actions. It is not my place to be judge, jury and executioner. That is then my sin!! I need to hand this over to God to handle and ask for mercy on that person. That is when my heart and head will connect to forgive.

Wow, I never thought in a million years that I would hear from God on Facebook. LOL. It is true that HE is every where but I have to chuckle about this one.

Making changes

They say it takes 3 weeks to make a habit. I am determined to make good ones this year. Our life around here is mostly chaotic. Which I hate to admit is a lot of my fault. I am the biggest procrastinator you will find and that isn't good. But at least I realize it and am working to change it.

I am GOING to have a schedule and stick with it! Yes, I know that there has to be some give and take on it since we do homeschool. That doesn't mean that it has to happen often and whenever I think I need an excuse to just be lazy.

The first weeks in January have been hairy. I will say that with the holidays and all the family being at my house has been part of it. I was ready to pull my hair out and scream like a maniac just looking around at the clutter and mess. I made a commitment a few years ago that I wouldn't continue screaming at the top of my lungs to get the kids to do their chores or whatever it was that I told them to do. I am ashamed to confess...it happened... too much for my liking.

So changes are coming in the Wilson house. Good ones. Yes there will be trial and error, maybe too many for my liking, but it will happen. I know not to set my expectations too high because it will not happen over night. There will be many tears and tantrums on both sides. So, feel free to ask how it is going. You may want to wait a month or more so you don't get you head bit off. *grin*

see you soon sister

Saturday was the one year anniversary of Gwen's passing. She was a wonderful caring person who wanted to take care of everyone. Sometimes neglecting herself. She was taken from this earth earlier than all of us wanted but God has given us a peace that passes all understanding. She is missed tremendously but we know that one day we will meet up with her again and rejoice in our Saviors love for us all.

I wish that I had a picture of her to post so that you all could see what a beautiful person she was not only on the inside. She had a smile that would lite up her face and make you smile too. We love her dearly and would liked to have her here for our own selfishness but know that there were reasons beyond us that her life was shorter that we wanted. May you rest in peace sister and we will see you soon.

a ray of sunshine

I decided I better do this now or it might be a day late. Then I would never hear the end of it from Morgan. My sweet sunshine is 13 years old today.

My pregnancy with her was uneventful but the delivery was a whirlwind and very quick. I remember thinking that we had plenty of time before she arrived. Morgan had other thoughts. A total of 4 and a half hours after the first contraction, she was here. Blonde hair and blue eyes looking just like her daddy. She was crying and the nurse bundled her up and gave her to me. She wiggled her hand out of the blanket and gave me a smack on the cheek. I passed her along to Todd and she immediately quit crying. That was it....daddy's girl all the way.

The time has gone by far too fast for me. My baby is a teenager now. What a beautiful young lady she is turning into. Embracing her title as first born oldest sister of 4. I really have no clue how I would get by without her. She is my sunshine. We nicknamed her that after she was born because her hair was so blonde, you couldn't tell that she had any. But that name means so much more now. Our ray of sunshine that is forever there. Our true gift from God, on lone to raise into a godly woman.

Happy birthday, baby!! We love you so much!!

I will worship while I'm waiting

I love that song. It is one that makes me want to raise my hands in worship and belt out as loud as I can and praise the holy One. If you know me....I don't call attention to myself and can't carry a tune. But I'll tell you a secret, I turn up the radio in the car and belt it out with that one. Sorry kids!!

It has been a rough road these past 2 years. Well, actually for many years it has but these past few have been a humdinger. I won't go into all the sob stories and be a Debbie Downer because if I let myself I can really wallow in my self pity. I don't want to do that. I want to worship my Savior and thank Him for all of the roads I have gone down and am still walking on. I want to keep my eyes on Him and Him alone. I know that He is with me always and that He is teaching me so many things if I just keep my mouth shut and listen.

I can look back and see the changes that have taken place...for better. I can honestly say that I am thankful for the many struggles I have gone through. I see the changes in myself, my husband, and my marriage. I feel my faith growing and my focus in the right direction. Don't get me wrong, I still have a ways to go. But I will worship while I am waiting for my savior to continue His work in me. I will worship and praise Him when our finances aren't enough, when my marriage can't take another blow, my kids are screaming and not doing what is asked, when the drama seems too much, or it's just one of those days that you just want to quit.

I will give thanks when all of our bills are paid and we have $3 in the bank. I will give thanks when Todd and I have an hour of quiet time together when the kids are tucked into bed. I will jump for joy when the kids are sitting at the table helping one another with school work. I will worship because I know that God is never leaving me. He will never give me more than I can handle. He is molding me to the person I am meant to be.

Yes, I am human, and my faith will stumble. I will crumble under pressure at times....OK a lot of times. But He loves me still and will help me get back on track if I only ask.


Thank you Lord for the time and work you are putting into me!

double belssings

In less than an hour will be when 2 of my 4 blessings came into this world. I can look back now and breathe a huge sigh of relief and see the wonder and awe of our precious heavenly father at work. Though it was a difficult pregnancy with emotional, physical and financial stress, it was worth every moment. Those two wanted to enter this world at 24 weeks and it took every thing we could possibly do to keep them in that cozy uterus for as long as we did.(almost 36 weeks) But only by the grace and mercy of God do we have 2 healthy, happy, loving, beautiful, thoughtful, rambunctous, bickering, tattling, comforting, cootie avoiding, booger picking, obnoxious talking, sweet, endearing, compassionate, and God loving twins.

Jacob and Payton are so special to us. When we planned on just one more to add to our family, God blessed us with double the blessing. We can't imagine our life without them. They each bring something different to our family. Unique in their own way, but sharing a bond only they understand. I pray that they will always feel that way toward one another.

Happy Birthday, Jacob! Happy Birthday, Payton! Happy Birthday, my twinkies! We love you so much and think you two are the coolest 6 year olds we know.