Saturday, December 19, 2009

a ray of sunshine

I decided I better do this now or it might be a day late. Then I would never hear the end of it from Morgan. My sweet sunshine is 13 years old today.

My pregnancy with her was uneventful but the delivery was a whirlwind and very quick. I remember thinking that we had plenty of time before she arrived. Morgan had other thoughts. A total of 4 and a half hours after the first contraction, she was here. Blonde hair and blue eyes looking just like her daddy. She was crying and the nurse bundled her up and gave her to me. She wiggled her hand out of the blanket and gave me a smack on the cheek. I passed her along to Todd and she immediately quit crying. That was it....daddy's girl all the way.

The time has gone by far too fast for me. My baby is a teenager now. What a beautiful young lady she is turning into. Embracing her title as first born oldest sister of 4. I really have no clue how I would get by without her. She is my sunshine. We nicknamed her that after she was born because her hair was so blonde, you couldn't tell that she had any. But that name means so much more now. Our ray of sunshine that is forever there. Our true gift from God, on lone to raise into a godly woman.

Happy birthday, baby!! We love you so much!!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I will worship while I'm waiting

I love that song. It is one that makes me want to raise my hands in worship and belt out as loud as I can and praise the holy One. If you know me....I don't call attention to myself and can't carry a tune. But I'll tell you a secret, I turn up the radio in the car and belt it out with that one. Sorry kids!!

It has been a rough road these past 2 years. Well, actually for many years it has but these past few have been a humdinger. I won't go into all the sob stories and be a Debbie Downer because if I let myself I can really wallow in my self pity. I don't want to do that. I want to worship my Savior and thank Him for all of the roads I have gone down and am still walking on. I want to keep my eyes on Him and Him alone. I know that He is with me always and that He is teaching me so many things if I just keep my mouth shut and listen.

I can look back and see the changes that have taken place...for better. I can honestly say that I am thankful for the many struggles I have gone through. I see the changes in myself, my husband, and my marriage. I feel my faith growing and my focus in the right direction. Don't get me wrong, I still have a ways to go. But I will worship while I am waiting for my savior to continue His work in me. I will worship and praise Him when our finances aren't enough, when my marriage can't take another blow, my kids are screaming and not doing what is asked, when the drama seems too much, or it's just one of those days that you just want to quit.

I will give thanks when all of our bills are paid and we have $3 in the bank. I will give thanks when Todd and I have an hour of quiet time together when the kids are tucked into bed. I will jump for joy when the kids are sitting at the table helping one another with school work. I will worship because I know that God is never leaving me. He will never give me more than I can handle. He is molding me to the person I am meant to be.

Yes, I am human, and my faith will stumble. I will crumble under pressure at times....OK a lot of times. But He loves me still and will help me get back on track if I only ask.

Thank you Lord for the time and work you are putting into me!